THE BLOG
Self Talk
Let's talk about self talk.
Often, when we talk about self care, we include activities like nature walks, meditation, and quality time with the people we love.
And those are all wonderful practices!
But, one practice that gets left out of the conversation is the way we talk to ourselves.
If you don't think your self talk is that important, try this experiment:
Put on an outfit or an accessory that you love and stand in front of the mirror.
Tell yourself, “Wow! You look ah-mazing! Nice!”
How do you feel? Uplifted? Energized? Are you too distracted by your awesome outfit to even say?
Now, take a moment, and tell yourself, “Oh no, that looks terrible on you. Do you seriously wear that in front of people?”
How do you feel now? Torn down? Embarrassed? Defeated?
Our self talk can directly affect our mood, which affects our self esteem, our drive, our relationships, and career trajectories.
So, let's get to the point.
If you replayed your inner monologue from the last 24 hours, what kind of self talk would you hear?
Do you give yourself lots of love, comfort, and support? Do you compliment yourself when you do something well or finish a task?
Or, do you tear yourself down, berate yourself for not doing enough, and criticize yourself?
If you want to nail that next presentation, but you routinely criticize your presence in a room, how will you meaningfully share your expertise and ideas with your colleagues or potential clients?
If you want a raise, but you repeatedly tell yourself that you're undeserving of good things, how will you adequately advocate for yourself at work?
Full disclosure - I have had to work on this a lot in my own life.
When I became really aware of how harsh I was being on myself, I got frustrated.
And then...when I became aware of how frustrated I was with myself, I judged it.
And at some point I saw how sad, hurtful, layered and almost comical my thoughts ABOUT my thoughts were.
I was over it.
And so I committed to being aware of what I was thinking.
And not believing everything I thought.
And I became absolutely determined to not treat myself like a piñata.
YOU DESERVE TO FEEL GOOD. PERIOD.
If you want to see a major positive shift in your life, start changing the way you talk to yourself.
Each day, give yourself compliments for big and small things - the delicious dinner you whipped up, the workout you pushed through, how you handled a challenging conversation or comforted a friend.
And, speaking of comforting a friend, you are with you 24/7. Being able to comfort yourself is a superpower worth cultivating.
When you feel nervous, fearful, or uncertain, try this: Put a hand on your heart and tell yourself how strong and capable you are.
It may seem goofy, but what have you got to lose?
And, if you need a moment to cry and release any heavy emotions, let yourself do so without judgment. We all need a release sometimes!
And, of course, never hesitate to reach out to a good friend for that extra boost when your positive, nourishing self talk could use a little emphasis.
Shoot me an email in a few days and let me know how your new improved self talk is going!