San Diego
Public Speaking

What's even better than having a stance or walk that looks powerful?

Having one that feels powerful.

Here's a helpful thing - your body will let you know which choices feel good.

It's not one size fits all.

 

Last year, a woman from the Boston office of Thornton Tomasetti reached out to me. (Their deal: We apply scientific and engineering principles to solve the world’s challenges.) 

 

She hired me to lead a workshop for a group of women engineers who wanted their body language to look powerful.

In this workshop, I had the women try on different body language choices, to see what felt strong and good.

I wanted them to see what their bodies told them. 

I encouraged them to close their eyes so they could observe which thoughts and feelings came up as they stood with their arms crossed vs. when they had a more open stance.

I asked them to tune in to their inner worlds when taking up less space.

What their breathing was like in this choice. Was it shallow? Deep?

We explored taking up more space.

And then we checked out a variety of other body language options to see which felt brave or lame or grounding.

I really love this work. It's very rewarding.

 

And yet...

…often when I'm sitting in front of an older gentleman, I will automatically take up less space. 

 

Even though I teach this stuff all the time.

I'll suddenly notice that I've closed my body language.

My breathing has become more shallow. I'm in my head.

That conditioning runs deep! 

 

I still need to be aware of how I'm choosing (consciously or unconsciously) to carry myself.

Here's what I try to do when I notice this kind of thing happening:

1. I let go of being frustrated with myself.

2. I shift from sitting in a small, closed, and tight position- to one that's big, open, and looser.

I can breathe easier and think more clearly.

Relief!

Do you consciously choose your body language in certain situations?

If yes, what are your strategies?