Go toward it or get out

“I suddenly got really nervous.”

               -me right after signing up for a local tennis league 

 

My immediate reaction? I don't like how this feels. Tennis is fun! WTH? Where did that fun feeling go? 

 

My body gave me sensations - my heart rate went faster. My muscles tensed. My breathing was more shallow.

 

I was definitely IN this reaction. 

 

And then I was able to zoom out a little bit to observe it unfolding, too.

 

I didn't want my fun hobby to feel like an exam or a threat. NO.

 

I took a few deep breaths, got curious and started unpacking. 

 

First question. What does “I suddenly got really nervous” mean?

 

Better question- what does “I suddenly got really nervous” mean to me?

 

Does it mean:

 

   It's a sign I shouldn't do it.

 

   It's a sign I absolutely should do it.

 

   It means I'm not ready.

 

   It means I'm out of my comfort zone - oh good!

 

   It means I'm going to screw it up.

 

   It means I care about this adventure.

 

I suspected something in me was getting hyper focused on outcomes (winning), instead of the goal of being present and responding moment to moment the best I could. (Way more fun BTW - which usually leads to better playing). 

 

Next question - what do I want it to mean?

 

After sitting with my anxious feelings and tense muscles, I came to this:

 

I want to play really well. I do want to win. But I don't have to win. If I lose a lot? I'll live. I will still get endorphins and be outside.

 

AND I want to prioritize looking at this whole thing as a mindset experiment. 

 

• How quickly can I let go of my bad shots, silly errors, or terrible serves?

• How much fun can I have if my doubles partner and I are losing?

• How easily can I shake off any negative or insecure feelings if the other team isn't friendly?

  

I'm also going to take action. I'm going to practice with my ball machine. And get together with my coach to focus on serving and strategy. 

 

I'm much more excited now. And relieved. And still a bit nervous, which is 100% okay with me.

 

So, last week, when my new client said “I suddenly got really nervous" right before she practiced her brand new talk in front of me, we immediately unpacked it together.

 

She figured out what she wanted that feeling to mean, so it wasn't a threat. 

 

Nervous energy is a messenger, not a verdict. Sometimes the message is ‘go toward this.’ 

 

You're scared because it matters to you. 

 

And sometimes the message is 'get out — this isn't serving you.' 

 

You're anxious because the situation is toxic. 

 

Learning to tell the difference? That's everything. 

 

Still feeling anxious? You don't have to go through any of this alone. Click here to talk about coaching, and let's make a plan for your next steps.